Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Kamala Harris Announces All-New Original Book: 'The Art Of The Deal'


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U.S. — Hoping to round out her presidential campaign on a strong note, Vice President Kamala Harris announced the upcoming release of her all-new, completely original book titled The Art of the Deal just in time for election day.

The publication of the book, which the Harris-Walz campaign said would revolutionize the business landscape and provide entrepreneurs with new insight into the process of negotiation and dealmaking, features firsthand knowledge from the vice president's experience in the high-stakes world of New York real estate.

"I am happy to publish my new book of entirely new and original material," Harris said in a press release that accompanied the announcement of the book. "Just like my previous book on criminal justice, this new book will offer never-before-seen information that hasn't ever been found in any other book — even books that may coincidentally have the same title. Many people know my history as a fearless and highly competent prosecutor who was only ever hired for my competence, but few people are aware of just how much I know about New York real estate and negotiating huge deals. Now — finally — there is a book covering this subject. I'm such a great author, am I right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Early reviews of the book offered glowing critiques. "I never knew she had such extensive business experience," one critic said. "It's almost as though she spent the 1970s and 1980s building a vast real estate empire throughout the Northeast. Really impressive material… though some of it does seem familiar."

At publishing time, the Harris-Walz campaign had also unveiled new and completely original merchandise including red baseball caps emblazoned with Harris's new "Make America Great Again" slogan.