WASHINGTON, DC — Kamala Harris's team released a powerful new slogan this week that encapsulates the candidate's bold vision for her campaign platform: "We Decline Your Request For An Interview."
"We believe this new campaign slogan sums up perfectly what the Harris-Walz ticket is all about," Harris staffer Mindy Young told reporters. "She is so brave, so bold, so trendy and hip, and totally not at all afraid of the media, but she's just really busy with stuff and can't do interviews right now. I expect young women everywhere to gravitate towards this new messaging; I wouldn't be surprised to see it on t-shirts soon."
The Harris campaign released the slogan after weeks of Kamala bravely hiding behind desks, water fountains, trees, phone booths, large bushes, small children, horses, microphones, and teleprompters to avoid talking directly to members of the media. They believe "We Decline Your Request For An Interview" sums up her courageous, fearless leadership style.
"I will give an interview when I'm good and ready," Kamala Harris told her staff to tell the press. "Now someone refill my wine glass before I literally murder someone."
At publishing time, Kamala had confirmed her first media interview since becoming a candidate. The CNN exclusive is scheduled for August 2032.