WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attendees at this week's Harris-Walz campaign rally in the nation's capital were treated to a rare occurrence as President Joe Biden was briefly released from captivity to campaign for Kamala.
In a rare public appearance, the leader of the free world took the stage to show his support for his Vice President as she held an event to garner support in her bid for the White House. Sources revealed Harris obtained permission to have Biden temporarily released from his confinement for the rally.
"It's good to be out here in the fresh air for a few minutes, folks," Biden muttered to the crowd. "They usually only let me out for… for the… they sometimes… for the meetings with heads of state… the… but only… those things. Today, I'm fortunate that they let me out of that dark room so that I could come down here and show my support for my good friend… the black gal over there. She's going to do a great job succeeding me as senator for the great state of Delaware, the position I've been honored to hold for the last half-century. I know she'll be just as effective as that… as the… that other black fellah I worked with. Barack Osama was his name. Anyway…"
Following his brief remarks, Biden was quickly whisked away by Secret Service agents, thrown into a wooden crate, and transported back to the White House basement until he would be needed again.
At publishing time, Biden reportedly asked his handlers if he had done a good enough job to earn an extra scoop of ice cream.