Friday, July 26, 2024

Obama Reluctantly Endorses Kamala After Butt-Dialing Her


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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Vice President's campaign for president received a highly sought-after boost this week, as former President Barack Obama reluctantly endorsed Kamala Harris after butt-dialing her.

The unintentional endorsement occurred yesterday while Obama was reportedly sitting down to enjoy some chips and salsa and inadvertently called the vice president. A source close to Obama confirmed that the former president improvised the endorsement as a way to cover the embarrassing butt dial.

"Ah, shoot, I accidentally called Kamala," Obama was heard whispering as he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his slacks. "What do I say now? How am I going to play this off? I don't know what to — Hey, there, Kamala! How are you? Barack and Michelle here!"

Insiders disclosed that Obama's cover for the butt dial was successful, with Harris coming away from the conversation proudly boasting about having the former president's blessing. "She was thrilled," said one source. "She was giggling uncontrollably and smiling from ear to ear like she was hopped up on something. Then again, I guess she's pretty much always like that, but still, you could tell she was relieved to have Obama's endorsement."

Sources within the Obama camp refused to comment on whether or not he would have endorsed Harris at some point anyway, conceding that his selection of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State was also done by accident. "Sometimes things just work out," one insider said. "He's had a pretty good track record with his butt dials."

At publishing time, Obama was reportedly stuck making small talk with Joe Biden after yet another accidental butt dial.