LOS ANGELES — The Oscars ceremonies were paused this evening for attendants to observe a moment of silence for the undocumented murderer José Antonio Ibarra, who was tragically referred to as "illegal" by President Biden earlier this week.
"No one is illegal," said a tearful Jimmy Kimmel as the murderer's picture was displayed. "Let us all take a moment to honor the undocumented, as we reflect on the pain and anguish it caused this man to hear himself described as an 'illegal'. It is a pain no vicious murderer should ever have to experience."
The Oscars attendees solemnly stood and looked into the eyes of the man who bludgeoned a young woman to death, considering the deep wound a hurtful word like "illegal" must have wrought. Though President Biden had already apologized for using the despicable term to describe the killer, the Academy felt a moment of silence was needed to help bring true healing.
At publishing time, the Oscars had posted a picture of USC football coach Lincoln Riley during its "In Memoriam" ceremony.