DETROIT, MI — In a terribly awkward moment, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy both showed up to cheer at the same campaign rally for President Joe Biden.
The two heads of state, their respective nations still locked in ongoing violent conflict, were shocked to run into each other at the event, where they both intended to show their support for another four years of Biden.
"It was pretty painful," said one Biden campaign staffer. "We were expecting endorsements from both of them, but I think someone really screwed up with scheduling because we didn't intend for them to both be at the same rally. You could tell they didn't really know what to say. Putin offered a handshake at the same time Zelenskyy was going in for a hug… we were all just cringing."
Putin was reportedly helping himself to some Doritos and lil' smokies at the catering table backstage before the event when Zelenskyy arrived. "Putin? What are you doing here?" he is said to have asked.
"Oh… uh… hello, Zelenskyy," Putin reportedly replied. "So… how are things going with you?"
The rally organizers attempted to spin the situation in the most positive way possible. "This is great!" one staffer said. "Just more proof of how Joe Biden brings everyone together. He's such a uniter."
At publishing time, Putin and Zelenskyy had agreed to keep things civil and mutually endorse Biden for president as long as he promised to keep the Russia-Ukraine war going and the money flowing.