Sunday, January 14, 2024

The Democrat-to-English Dictionary — updated for 2024


In this era of hoaxes, euphemisms, obfuscation, and lies, I once again offer the following as a public service. Here are more (mostly new!) selections from…

The Democrat-to-English Dictionary

*Ableism: the unfounded and bigoted belief that people who are capable of doing a certain job should be hired over those who are not.

*Baby: non-viable tissue mass.

*California: a Golden State and Land of Milk and Honey with almost perfectly progressive government … that thousands of people flee every year.

*Christian: a radical religionist characterized by intolerance and a fanciful belief in a “Sky Daddy.”

*Democracy: any political system, no matter how authoritarian, that allows Democrats to attain and retain power.

*Democrat: a member of the One True Political Party who has only others’ best interest in mind. Salt of the earth. Honest to a fault.

*Evil: good.

*Far-right extremist: 1) anyone to the right of Mao Zedong. 2) traditional Christian. 3) anyone who loves America.

*Group: a collective body of people sharing certain characteristics. Much more important than individuals, and therefore to be granted more rights.

*Hamas: a misunderstood group that is well-intentioned, but sadly abused by Jews.   

*Intersectionality: the interconnected social categorizations that create overlapping systems of discrimination. Also, the only thing that gives an individual any worth.

*Jew: Nazi.

*Knowledge: state-approved information, often given an imprimatur by “science.”

*Law: a system of rules which regulate the actions of anyone opposed to Democrats. Does not apply to Democrats.

*Merit: a pernicious word reflecting the belief that some thoughts and actions are somehow better than others, and that therefore some accomplishments — and even people — are more worthy of respect than others.

*Non-viable tissue mass: any human or other being that does not agree with Democrats and/or threatens their power.

*Ours: as in, “what’s yours is ours.”

*Penis: something that people with penises have. Has no relation to sex or gender.

*Queer: normal, respected, beloved.

*Republican: evildoer.

*Sanctuary City: a place where callous Republicans send undocumented immigrants for no valid reason.

*Taxes: like spending, something we always need more of.

*United States: a place beset with rampant racism, bigotry, misogyny, and classism … that millions of people risk their lives to try to enter each year.

*Vagina: something that people with vaginas have. Has no relation to sex or gender.

*Woman: a man who says he is a woman. (Remember, one must always believe all women, at least the ones with penises.)

*Xenophobe: 1) anyone who puts the welfare of American citizens above that of undocumented aliens. 2) certain Republicans.

*Youngster: likely future Democratic voter. Should be allowed to vote now.

*Zoning: the process of creating voting districts/precincts guaranteed to elect Democrats in perpetuity. 

And one from the original Democrat-to-English Dictionary:

*Disinformation: any information that would tend to discredit Democrats’ agenda. (see also, “the truth.”)