Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Five Things I've Learned Not to Do on Social Media


It may seem obvious in this day and age what a person should and should not do on social media in the interest of preserving their sanity, not to mention maintaining their safety and privacy and that of their family.

But believe it or not, there are a lot of people out there who start accounts on Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, and all the rest who could use some tips on how to shield themselves from obnoxious trolls, potential online predators, and the like.

With that in mind, here's my list of five things I've learned not to do on social media, in no particular order.

Post as little personal information about yourself as possible

If you're in a profession where it makes business sense to post a significant amount of personal information about yourself, your family, and/or your community, then obviously this doesn't apply to you. But as a general rule of thumb, I recommend that most people cut way back on sharing anything that could allow Internet sickos to track you or a loved one down, even if you do have your privacy settings set to where only people you know can see what you post.

For starters, don't post full pictures of the front of your house, especially if you've taken them from the street and the street number is visible. If you simply must, remember to block out that number and anything else that might be unique about your particular home/yard. Likewise, don't take pictures of your car where the license plate or any unique bumper stickers can be seen.

It is shocking and disturbing how easy it is for predators to find out people's addresses, phone numbers, and workplaces just from posting information like that, but it absolutely happens.

I speak from experience. When I was still posting anonymously many years ago, I used to share pretty pictures of my (former) house after it had snowed - sans the street number. A wacko group affiliated with Democrat voter registration efforts here in North Carolina teamed up with one of the "Occupy" movements to find out who I was and where I lived brd in part on photos like that. One of them even threatened to drive by my house and take pictures and "joked" about hoping they saw me inside sitting on the couch.

Don't tell people where you are, until you're not there anymore

I know it's trendy to be sitting at some cute local place with a friend and post a picture to the Internet with the caption "Having the time of our lives at Betty's Bake and Brew!" But this is something you shouldn't do for a couple of reasons.

For starters, it allows Internet randos the opportunity to do some sleuthing, find out where you live, and visit your home to do some damage because they know you're not home. I've read countless stories over the years of people doing this and coming home to find their place ransacked.

You can still post your picture, just make sure to post it after you've left. "Had a great time earlier today at Betty's Bake and Brew!" Or, if you want to post it while you're there, just leave off the identifying info about the location.

Similarly, don't make a big announcement that you're going on a two-week vacation to the Bahamas until well after you're there. And even then, make sure you have a neighbor monitoring the place or even hire a house sitter if you can and/or take other measures to protect your home while you're away for that time frame. 

Because you won't be able to resist posting photos of your time at the ocean while you're there (hopefully without any identifying info included), and wrongdoers will take full advantage of that if they can.

Ignore trolls and obnoxious keyboard warriors

Trust me, I fully understand how hard it is to ignore trolls and know-it-alls on the Internet, with the urge to crush their arguments and put them in their place strong.

I used to be a big flamethrower on social media, arguing people down until I got the last word, even wallowing in the mud with them at times because it was the only way to beat some of them at their game.

But over time, it started to make me miserable. Plus, I began to realize that not only was I becoming something I wasn't, but I was spending too much time online arguing with people who would never try to see things from my perspective and who were not acting in good faith.

These days I either ignore, mute, or block trolls and other bad-faith actors depending on my assessment of what they're saying and what I think they're trying to do. Life is too short to spend too much time humoring these people. Don't do what I did. If you spend more than 60 seconds on them you are wasting your time.

Keep the food/drink photos to a minimum

Again, if you are a food blogger/chef or are in some type of profession where posting a lot of food/drink photos makes sense, this doesn't apply to you.

But I've gotten to where I don't share photos of what I'm having for lunch/a snack/etc. much anymore, because for some reason people get REALLY obnoxious about it in the comments to the point it takes the enjoyment right out of it.

For instance, I once posted about enjoying a Wendy's chili on a cold day several years ago. A full-blown argument broke out in the comments of my Facebook post on what the ingredients were, whether they were good for you, etc. In others, I've had people tell me to "get out more" because they didn't like where I'd chosen to get food from that day. These people managed to take the fun and joy right out of those posts.

My mom told me about something she posted a while back about her love of sweet tea, only to have one person comment that it would "rot your teeth" and another warn her about what the sugar could do to her body.

Obviously, this is a personal preference thing, as I'm sure many out there would simply tell these people to take a hike. But it was happening so much in my case that I just decided it was better to cut back altogether.

Don't assume everyone who disagrees with you is the enemy

As has often been said, if we all agreed with each other, life would be pretty dull. Disagreement is one of the spices of life, provided people can do it respectfully, and passionately without making horse's patooties out of themselves. I've made friends with people who are further to the left of me and further to the right than me who disagreed with me and let me know it. 

Engaging with people who are operating in good faith is good for the soul and helps us evolve. Even if the person doesn't change our minds (which is the case in most instances!), they can help us better understand where they are coming from, which helps us improve our own arguments.

Have any tips or other dos/don'ts to share? Please do so in the comments! Would love to hear from you.