LOS ANGELES, CA — Massive waves have come crashing into the California coast as the Lord in His graciousness has sent ocean waters to wash away the sidewalk poop.
"Behold, He is making all things new!" cried out Los Angeles residents as the waves swept down the sidewalk. "It's a miracle!"
Residents who have been trapped indoors for months due to fecal matter have finally begun to step outside again. "This must be what it felt like for Noah and his family to exit the ark," said local man Roger Darnell. "We can finally walk out of this squalid room into a world freshly cleansed. Oh, look, a rainbow! It's beautiful!"
Fear had initially seized California residents as warnings of fifteen-foot swells began rolling in. However, videos of the waves crashing into the streets turned fear into joy as Californians watched the mighty ocean waters scrub the sidewalks clean of poo. "Sorrow turned into dancing," said local woman Amy Adams. "I may have a shark in my living room but look at these sidewalks!"
At publishing time, the waves had receded and the homeless population had begun the thankless task of re-pooping all the sidewalks.