Trump, as we all know, is an existential threat to democracy itself! If we don't destroy him, the unparalleled peace and prosperity Biden brought to America will be over for good! Oh no!
There's still time to stop Trump before it's too late. Here are 10 schemes that just might do it this time:
- 3rd impeachment: It's bound to work the third time!
- Bribe Melania to reveal the source of his strength: It's gotta be his hair.
- Put a Big Mac right underneath a dangling piano: Hillary Clinton has reportedly used this method successfully 3 times before.
- Become a porn star, have an affair with him, and get him to pay you hush money through a shady arrangement: Wait--have we done this one already? Never mind.
- Outlaw tanning beds and then nuke the Sun like in The Matrix so he can't have such a glorious tan: His supporters will abandon him by the thousands, probably.
- Raid Mar-A-Lago: Crap, we already did that one too.
- Send him on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney: Diabolical!
- Start WWIII and hope one of the Russian bombs hits Mar-A-Lago: The current administration is currently looking into this one.
- Catch him in the act of drinking Bud Light: Political suicide!
- Destroy democracy itself: You see, if a democracy elects Trump then we have to destroy democracy to save democracy. It's complicated.