The self-proclaimed "party of science" tosses around theories as if they were hard and fast laws of nature. They are not. Theories are nothing but educated guesses about how the world behaves. Until proven, they remain just guesses.
The scientific method is to make observations, develop a theory that explains the observations, and then conduct tests to prove the theory. Contrary to claims of the left, consensus is not validation of a theory. It is merely a bunch of guys making the same guess.
If testing demonstrates that a theory is accurately predicting natural behavior, the theory becomes a scientific principle. If testing does not validate a theory, it is discarded — unless it's a liberal theory. In that case, testing continues indefinitely until the theory is proven, or the theorist goes insane trying.
Joe Biden's role in the scientific method is not as a theorist. His specialty is the validation stage of the process. He's putting every silly theory of the left through the ringer to determine if it actually explains real-world behavior. So far, the validation isn't going very well.
Theory 1 — Diversity improves organization performance
The diversity industry claims that having a diversified workforce increases creativity and customer service — resulting in improved organizational performance. Joe gave us a few appointments who check all of the diversity boxes to test this one out. He appointed Dr. "Rachel" Levine to be the assistant secretary of health. Levine has a penis but thinks he's a woman — making him a valid diversity test subject. His department has spent two years promoting a vaccine that doesn't prevent illness from the targeted virus, but does increase one's likelihood of dying from that virus.
Joe appointed Sam Brinton to be the deputy assistant secretary of spent fuel and waste disposition. Sam claims to be non-binary and is into "puppy play" — which I refuse to look up because it might include pictures. Sam has been fired because of multiple instances of stealing women's clothing from airports — and then allegedly wearing some of that clothing for a Vanity Fair spread. Apparently, intelligence doesn't necessarily accompany diversity.
Finally, Joe Appointed Pete Buttigieg, a gay man, to lead the Department of Transportation. Under Pete's watch, our shipping systems, airline services, and supply chains have all failed. Pete was also AWOL when the trains literally ran off of the rails in Ohio, Nebraska, Michigan, and South Carolina.
Joe set out to prove that diversity improves performance, but instead we got a fraud, a felon, and a fool — and exactly the performance you'd expect from such a clown show.
Theory 2 — Government spending is good for the economy
Whenever the American economy suffers a downturn, the left defaults to one government solution. The theory is that sufficient government spending will trigger economic growth. Leftists tax the population, give a little bit back to the citizens, spend the rest on liberal causes, and call it stimulus.
Joe tested this theory by spending nearly $5 trillion on various COVID relief, infrastructure, and inflation reduction boondoggles. Did it help the economy? No. Instead we've gotten:
- inflation at a 40-year high;
- families spending more to service the national debt than they do on their home mortgages;
- a $7-trillion loss in stock market value — much of which is our retirement savings; and
- a $9,000 drop in personal savings in one year.
That's some mighty impressive economic stimulation — no?
Theory 3 — Centralized control will optimize society
The left has been pushing for centralized control by a cadre of educated elites for years. The theory is that with centralized control, the bureaucracy can optimize performance and eliminate all of the messiness of capitalism and federalism. In service to this theory, the federal government has become the largest employer in America — employing over 9 million people in various permanent, contract, and military positions. With the necessary workforce in place, we decided to give Karl's manifesto a test drive during the COVID pandemic.
In full disclosure: Donald Trump started the preliminary testing on this theory when he accepted the advice of Dr. "I am the science" Fauci. However, Joe finished the testing — with gusto.
We were told that the virus would kill us all, but that the smart people knew how to manage the crisis. We sat back and watched reruns while the guys with the advanced poli sci degrees ran the show. They broke our
- supply chains,
- transportation infrastructure,
- medical industry,
- education institutions,
- military,
- constitutionally protected liberties.
The most efficient economic engine the world has ever known is still struggling to come back up to speed two years after the experts decided to "tweak" it.
Theory 4 — Controlling guns will control violence
This theory is that gun violence results from too many guns — rather than too many criminals — in circulation. Joe tested this theory by working with congressional Democrats and a handful of RINOs to pass new gun control legislation that tightens background checks and encourages states to implement red flag laws. The legislation is intended to prevent those who shouldn't have guns from getting them and enable the confiscation of guns from the unstable. We've recently learned that Hunter Biden hasn't been charged for lying on his background check documentation, Chris Cuomo is yet to be "red flagged" after saying he wanted to kill everyone at CNN, and violent crime is on the rise. Perhaps enforcement is a better deterrent to gun crime than legislation.
In spite of increased restrictions, firearm sales in 2022 reached 16.4 million — the third highest in U.S. history. The current administration is coming remarkably close to proving one of my theories: increased firearm restrictions result in increased firearm ownership.
Theory 5 — The government can regulate the weather
This theory is problematic for leftists because they're having difficulty describing the observation — planetary warming or more severe winters. While they're not sure it's anthropogenic global warming or anthropogenic climate change, they are sure that it's anthropogenic (our fault) and that more government control can fix it.
Joe has rejoined the Paris Climate Accord, canceled petrochemical pipelines, restricted domestic energy exploration, and taken regulatory actions to move America from fossil fuel powered cars to fossil fuel–powered electric cars.
Use of carbon-based fuels continues to rise, as does strip-mining to access lithium. However, the weather remains unchanged (L.A. had a blizzard warning last week).
You know that tag on appliances that says "UL approved"? The "UL" stands for Underwriters Laboratories. Those are the folks who test home appliances to make sure that plugging them in doesn't burn your house down. Well, Joe's lab is doing a fine job of testing liberal theories, and he's already proven that five of them will most definitely burn our country down. They don't explain world behavior, but they do increase government control over our lives. Is it possible that liberal "theories" are nothing but propaganda — intended to fool us into relinquishing our remaining freedoms?
Based on Joe's testing, the next leftist politician on a ballot should come with a warning label: The contents of this suit may be hazardous to your health, freedom, and financial prosperity. Vote with extreme caution.