GLENDALE, AZ — The Super Bowl referees held a brief meeting before the game began to go ahead and decide which team will take home the Lombardi trophy.
"Alright, let's get this over with. Who are we going to take?" asked head referee Larry Masters. "You feeling the Chiefs today, Bob?"
After a short back-and-forth, the referee crew settled on handing the game to Kansas City. "Steve was pulling for the Eagles, but no one cares what Steve thinks," said back judge Bob Prince. "There's a lot more excitement for us referees to neutralize a generational win using only our whistles. It really crushes the spirit of every athlete. Plus, there's the added bonus of torturing Broncos fans with a Chiefs win. It's a no-brainer."
According to sources, the tradition of the referees selecting the Super Bowl winner dates back over twenty years. "The first time choosing who will win the Super Bowl is always the sweetest," said retired referee Ed Hochuli. "Watching a cornerback lightly caress a wide receiver and whipping that flag out - man, you just savor those moments. Almost makes me want to pick up my whistle again."
At publishing time, the referees had reconsidered their choice after remembering that a Philadelphia loss would cause the city to burn. However, they stuck with their decision after realizing that Philly was going to burn no matter what.