A normal human being will not harass another person, or badger them into submission. The era of “me too” killed the old joke about how someone had said “no” but really meant “yes.” In politics, however, when it comes to fundraising, Democrats are like Joe Biden alone in a Capitol corridor with a mid-level staffer: he does not take “no” for an answer, even when it means “no.”
I suspect we’ll find out one day just how much like Bill Clinton Joe Biden really was (How sad is it that we’re a couple of generations away from Bill Clinton doing almost the same things Biden is accused of and still no Democrats give a damn?), but that’s not what this is about. This is about three last, desperate attempts to get money from the pockets of suckers before the calendar turned.
Up first is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “This is your last chance to show your support for President Biden this year!” they wrote. “From lowering costs for families to confirming Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson as the first Black woman on the Supreme Court, the Biden-Harris administration has achieved so much. But Mitch McConnell and Republicans are doing everything they can to block our progress!”
Inflation has exploded under Biden, but he’s “lowering costs for families”? To do what, have a subsidized abortion? And how dumb are the people at the DCCC to think Biden “confirmed” anyone to the Supreme Court? The Senate did that, he nominated her.
And just read this, “confirming Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson as the first Black woman on the Supreme Court.” Was she confirmed as “the first black woman on the Supreme Court” like that was up for discussion or the position for which she was nominated? Or was she the first black woman confirmed to the Supreme Court? Words and the order in which you place them matter…unless you know your audience is a bunch of morons.
Then Nancy Pelosi, who has made more money while in office than pretty much anyone ever, wanted to suck Democrats dry one last time in 2022. “I hate to bother you again, but I need ONE last push of help from my strongest supporters,” she wrote to someone who’s never giving her a penny. “I am hoping for just 2 more gifts from your zip code before my monumental End of Year Deadline when the clock strikes midnight. If we can blow our End of Year goal out of the water and HIT our target for 2023 Democratic Memberships, we'll have the resources we need to support our INCREDIBLE Democrats in the next election and beyond to continue the work we started. Can I count on you to be one of the final grassroots donors I am counting on from your zip code in these final hours of 2022?”
What’s the point of setting a goal if your intention is to “blow” it out of the water? Did you set it deliberately low so you could surpass it? Or is there no goal, really, it’s just a gimmick to con poor suckers out of a couple more dollars? We know the answer.
Finally, someone who must’ve just purchased a fundraising list I had signed up for because I’d not gotten any emails from him before, Chucky Schumer.
“Derek, it's Sen. Schumer,” it starts, like he saved my life in ‘Nam. “I'm between meetings, so I'll make this quick: Your name is on our list of inactive Democratic memberships for December, and I need to make sure you activate your membership by tonight’s public, year-end fundraising deadline. If we want to save the Senate and stop Mitch McConnell again in 2024, we need to begin laying the groundwork immediately. Voting rights, reproductive justice, President Biden's judicial nominees, and our ultra-slim Democratic majority are all on the line. We can't afford for anyone to sit on the sidelines! Your membership has never been more critical.”
This email was sent on New Year’s Eve at 7:34 pm. Does anyone think Chuck was jetting between meetings at that time on that day, then just stopped to take a moment to compose a quick email to anyone before heading off to kiss the rear ends of more mega-donors? Maybe dumb people would.
And that’s who these people live off of: dumb people. Well, not exclusively dumb people. The main source of their money is not the low-dollar sucker maxing out a credit card because they’ve been convinced Kevin McCarthy is hiding in the closet ready to force them to live their lives freely, it’s the left-wing billionaire looking to get even richer through government grants, contracts and influence. Democrats need the small dollar donors to dilute their numbers and make it seem like monetary support for them is widespread. In other words, the con job in fundraising is ultimately to cover up the con job that Democrats are funded by grassroots supporters. This was true in 2022, it’ll be true in 2023 and beyond.