Thursday, December 8, 2022

Tragedies That Could Have Been Prevented With Better Gun Control


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Guns. They've caused countless tragedies. The list of tragedies that could have been prevented by guns is literally infinite, especially when you consider the multiverse.

Here is a small sampling of tragedies that could have been prevented with common sense gun control:

  1. World War I: Without guns, they would have just resorted to slap fights. In the case of the French, tickle fights.
  2. World War II: Imagine what would have happened if Hitler had never been able to access an AR-15.
  3. That time Chick-Fil-A ran out of sauce: And even during the crisis, Congress did NOTHING.
  4. 9/11: If only those planes had been stored locked and unloaded.
  5. The destruction of Hometree on Pandora by the forces of Colonel Miles Quatrich: You know, from Avatar? No? You already forgot that movie? Well, it was sad.
  6. The conquest of Asia by Genghis Khan: Red flag laws could have stopped this.
  7. That time you failed a test: We're sure gun laws factor in somehow.
  8. The eruption of Mount St. Helens: Mother Nature was mad about the guns. When will we listen?!
  9. Climate change: Climate change is caused by guns. Guns are caused by climate change. It's a vicious circle.
  10. Aerith's tragic death in Final Fantasy VII: To this day, we're still scarred.
  11. The Beverly hillbillies moving to Beverly Hills: Jed Clampett should have never had access to that there rifle.
  12. Noah's flood: Let's hope it doesn't take another flood for us to finally get rid of all these guns!