As it is New Year’s Eve, I thought I’d recap some of my favorite Dianny images from the past year.
While I might not have posted as much this year as I have in years past (damn you, Lupus!), I could, on occasion, still muster enough creative energy to come up with a Dianny Image that tickled me.
So here are some of my favorite Dianny images and a recap of the stories that inspired them.
Biden’s Bunny Bodyguard
Remember when Joe Biden got off leash at the White House Easter Egg Roll and started answering questions from reporters and a staffer dressed in a bunny costume stepped in to corral him away?
Sure you do! Because it was simultaneously hilarious and, in the broader scheme of things, completely embarrassing.
Suddenly, I’m thinking of that time Joe Biden proudly declared “No one fucks with a Biden.”
No one, except Putin, the Taliban, Xi Jinping, and a White House staffer dressed like a freaking bunny.
After free-range Joe got away from her, Bunny girl spent the rest of the White House Easter Egg Roll shadowing Joe’s every step. In fact, one of pictures Jill Biden posted on Twitter captured Bunny girl hovering behind Grandpa like a fur-covered care worker from Visiting Angels.
To accompany my post, “Old Joe and the Bunny,” I created this image:
Biden Bleats about a Bully
The day after Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered the invasion of Ukraine, Biden’s @POTUS account tweeted, “America stands up to bullies.”
Ooooh! Tough words, Joe.
But exactly what you’d expect from the guy who used to boast about how much he wanted to take Donald Trump behind the gym to beat him up.
Joe is perpetually stuck in junior high.
In my column, “Putin is a Bully? Is Joe in Seventh Grade?” I said Joe’s stupid tweet made me think of Butch, the bully from Little Rascals:
But Putin isn’t a bully.
Bullies will knock your lunch tray out of your hand and leave you to clean up the mess while the rest of the kids in the cafeteria laugh at you. They’ll yank your pants down when you’re walking to class or take your books from your hand and throw them in the toilet.
What bullies don’t do is invade a sovereign nation and bring Europe to the brink of war. That’s a bit beyond their field of expertise.
Kamala Harris, Foreign Policy Ignoramus
The war in Ukraine exposed Vice President Kamala Harris for the foreign policy know-nothing that she is.
Just three weeks after the invasion, Kamala delivered remarks at the DNC Winter Retreat in which she implied that Ukraine is a member of NATO.
The White House comms team snapped into action to cover Kamala’s mistake by amending the official transcript of Kamala’s speech to include a bracketed [and] to her remarks so they read, “the Ukrainian people [and] in defense of the NATO alliance.”
The only problem is that three days later, Kamala remained true to her vow to say it “over and over again” when she tweeted:
“The United States stands firmly with the Ukrainian people in defense of the NATO alliance.”
For my post, “Dear Kamala: UKRAINE IS NOT IN NATO!” I slapped together this image because it tickled me:
Liz and Adam Dance for their Masters
When the January 6 Select Committee’s live televised hearings made their primetime premiere in June, I referred to the overly-produced, Made-for-TV extravaganza as “Dancing with the Tards.”
My use of the pejorative “Tards” got a bit of pushback. But there was never a more fitting adjective to describe Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger.
Those two were so consumed by their hatred of Donald Trump that they happily danced for their Democrat organ grinders like a pair of costumed monkeys. They deserve whatever pejorative we want to hurl their way.
Tiny Head Fetterman
While I enjoyed Photoshopping John Fetterman as Frankenstein’s monster (as I did HERE and HERE), it was his teeny tiny head that really got the creative juices flowing.
Remember when Joe Biden flew to Pittsburgh in October and John Fetterman and his Instagram-Influencer wife Gisele met Grandpa’s plane at the airport?
For the first time in recent memory, Fetterman wore a suit and tie instead of his hoodie and shorts “working man” costume. And in so doing, we all discovered why the lumbering oaf avoids wearing a suit and tie.
It made his head look itty bitty.
In my post, “Dr. Dementia Meets Frankenstein’s Candidate,” I said that my plan to do a photoshop of Tiny Head Fetterman got scuttled after I saw that Matt’s Idea Shop was already planning something on Twitter.
Then, later that evening, the Talking Heads song “Once in a Lifetime” got stuck in my head and inspiration hit, giving me the perfect image idea to commemorate Tiny Head:
Where’s Jackie?
Back in September while delivering remarks at the White House, President Dementia began searching the crowd for Indiana Republican Congresswoman Jackie Walorski who was killed in a car accident nearly two months earlier.
The funniest part of that embarrassing moment was when the ResistanceLOL Twitter account “Occupy Democrats” sent out this now-deleted tweet:
“Radical Rightwing Republican Jackie Walorski skips White House forum on hunger initiative. She also was unable to be reached for comment about her act of defiance. RT IF YOU ARE TIRED OF THE CONSTANT DISRESPECT OF PRESIDENT BIDEN!!!”
Now might be a good time to mention that the little-brains behind Occupy Democrats were among the social media “influencers” that the Biden administration invited to the White House in October.
If that isn’t the cherry on top of the sundae.
Anyroad.
In my post about the “Where’s Jackie” incident, “Where’s Bruce Willis when you need him?” I decided to do a send-up of the movie “The Sixth Sense,” or as I called it, “The Forty-Sixth Sense.”
President Walter Mitty
I’ve done oodles of Dianny images mocking Joe Biden’s penchant for lying about his life story, including a 2019 series called “Flights of Fancy with Joe Biden.”
The man lies so much that he often repeats the same phony stories even after he’s forced to admit a story is untrue. And some cases, Joe’s “embellishments” get more embellishy with each retelling.
One of favorite porkies from Joe’s fictional biography is the one he told in early December last year, when he claimed that Israeli Prime Minister Golda Mier invited him “to come over” when he was acting as a liaison between Egypt and Israel during the 1967 Six-Day War.
It was all lies.
I wrote at the time:
First off, Golda Meir was not the Prime Minister of Israel during the Six-Day War. Levi Eshkol was Israel’s prime minister. Meir didn’t become prime minister until 1968.
And President Walter Mitty? Well, he wasn’t even Senator Walter Mitty during the Six-Day War. He was Joe the mediocre law student at Syracuse University where, in 1968, he graduated number 76 in a class of 85 people — or, as Joe once put it, in the top half of his class.
Moving on…
One of the favorite fictionalized stories Joe loves to recount is about the time in 2004 when a small kitchen fire broke out in his Delaware home. And that small kitchen fire grows more massive and harrowing with each of Joe’s retelling of it.
In October while hosting a summit on fire prevention at the White House, Joe added another heretofore unknown layer to the story, claiming two firefighters nearly lost their lives.
In my column “Fiction Creep,” after recounting how the minor kitchen fire slowly evolved into “The Towering Inferno,” I wrote:
At the rate Joe’s fiction creep is moving, by January, his version of that kitchen fire will include half of Wilmington burning to the ground while planes fly overhead dumping water from the sky. And he’ll cap it off by recounting his own brave act of derring-do, rescuing an innocent child from the inferno.
And since equity is the order of the day, no doubt the child he rescues will be black.
This year, Joe got caught revising another lie about his life, namely the tall tale of the oily windshield.
When he first started telling the story several years ago, Joe claimed that the oil that got all over the family car when he was a child caused him to develop asthma. In fact, that oily windshield in childhood is the reason Joe “and 80% of the people” he grew up with got asthma.
But in July, just one day before Grandpa tested positive for COVID (the first time), he claimed that being exposed to that oily windshield as a child is the reason “why I and so damn many other people I grew up with have cancer.”
What?! Joe has cancer? The news came as a bit of a surprise to everyone, including reporters, forcing the White House Office of What He Meant to Say to snap into action, as I noted in my column “Oily Windshields, Cancer, and COVID:”
But rather than simply explain that the president misspoke and meant to say oily windshields gave him asthma, the White House explained that the president was referring to the non-melanoma skin cancer he had removed before becoming president – skin cancer that was attributed at the time to sun exposure, not oily windshields.
I feel bad for the White House clean-up team. It’s hard work mopping up all those messes Joe leaves behind.
He’s like a 6-week-old puppy with an over-active bladder, except the only incontinent thing about Joe Biden is his mouth. Or at least I hope so.
Tater and the Red Stapler
It was hard not to take childlike delight in Brian Stelter getting fired from CNN in August, especially since his unceremonious departure happened just two days after Liz Cheney was unceremoniously kicked to the curb by voters in the Wyoming primary.
In my post “See ya later, Tater!” I confessed to having to “bite my cheeks to stop grinning from ear-to-ear” after getting such a Schadenfreuderrific two-fer.
It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving pair.
While I’ve employed the “Milton and his red stapler” imagery for a couple of other Dianny images over the years, using it again to mark the end of Brian Stelter’s charmed career at CNN, was just too perfect to pass up:
Well, those are my favorite Dianny images from 2022. While there were a few others that tickled my fancy as I was combing through this year’s columns, these are the images that tickled me the most.
The runners-up include the image accompanying my column about Trump allegedly having taken classified nuclear secrets to Mar-a-Lago and my “Biden Plays Risk” image from “Just how out of the loop is Joe Biden?” I was also pretty partial to my image of Joe Biden as a robot with doll’s eyes from my column “Joe Biden the Animatronic Doll.”
Okay, I’d love to stay and chat some more, but I have three loads of laundry to do. So I should probably get that started.
I know what you’re thinking, “Dianny sure knows how to party on New Year’s Eve.”
If you think I’m setting the bar rather low for this auspicious day, I’ll have you know that I also plan to dust, straighten, vacuum the carpet in my office, and clean the cooker. But I’m not making any promises. The day after I give myself my weekly immunosuppressant injection, I’m weak as a kitten and a bit on the dozy side. So if all I can manage is the laundry, I’ll still consider it a win.