According to Kamala Harris, America's southern border is totally secure! Whew--that's great news! But upon further investigation, we found 23 things that are currently more secure than the southern border.
- Your grandma's computer password
- Trump's safe in Mar-A-Lago
- Epstein's prison cell
- Thermal exhaust ports on the death star
- An unlocked car in Chicago
- Your daughter's hair around Joe Biden
- Bed, Bath & Beyond Stock
- Trusting in works for salvation
- Rings of Power Season 2
- The mattress on the car roof that the driver is holding with his left hand
- Ashley Biden's diary
- The word of a Spaniard
- Hunter's laptop
- Elections in Philadelphia
- Ben and J-Lo's marriage
- German gas prices
- California's electric grid
- Your lunch in the break room fridge
- A cheeseburger in front of your mom
- A pile of crack in front of Hunter Biden
- Big tech's handling of your data
- Your 401k
- Pretty much every other border everywhere else in the world