The feckless, unpopular Joe Biden is so desperate for a victory lap that on Wednesday he held a Rose Garden event to spike the football over a negative COVID test.
As you know, Joe contracted COVID on July 21 and spent six days in isolation while White House staff tweeted “proof of life” pictures of the old man. And on Wednesday, the White House announced that Joe tested negative.
Yes, sir! He was COVID-free!
A pleased and proud PeePaw posted a picture of his negative COVID test on Twitter, which is strikingly similar to when the pleased and proud PeePaw held up his empty plate to show the White House COVID response coordinator what a good boy he is.
Then the White House announced that the president would be delivering a speech in the Rose Garden later that day.
When I saw the news that he would be speaking from the Rose Garden, the first thought I had was that this was going to bite him on the ass.
Remember when Joe confidently told us the Taliban was no match for the Afghan military?
Or when he confidently declared that the US withdrawal from the embassy in Kabul would look nothing like the scrambling bug-out from Saigon?
Or when he confidently told Americans last July that by 2022 gas prices would be lower and then in 2022 gas prices reached a record high of over $5 a gallon?
Remember when he declared victory over the COVID pandemic last July only to turn around and predict a winter of disease and death?
More often than not, Joe’s mouth writes a check that his ass can’t cash.
So imagine my utter lack of surprise when, three days after his victory lap, the White House announced that Joe Biden once again tested positive for COVID.
We should’ve known that was going to happen because every time old Joe takes a premature victory lap, he ends up looking like a prat.
Joe Biden contracting “rebound COVID” should have been a foregone conclusion the moment he stepped into the Rose Garden to spike the football.
Biden has been a permanent fixture in Washington DC for half a century. Has he ever possessed the skills to accurately call balls and strikes?
No. Not even a little.
I especially enjoy the fact that Joe went out of his way to be a petty shit during his Rose Garden speech, working in a passive/aggressive slam at former President Trump over his bout with COVID.
Trump contracted the far more severe strain of the virus, not one of the milder variants. Like Biden, Trump has comorbidities that make him more susceptible to a more severe outcome. And yet he got the virus, was treated, and recovered.
Despite having received four COVID shots, Biden came down with a milder variant. He’s comparing apples to oranges.
You have to admit, Joe emerging from COVID isolation and taking a Rose Garden victory lap like he’s Henry V returning from the battle of Agincourt only to get COVID again three days later is the most Joe Biden thing ever.
The funniest part of this is that Biden’s premature victory lap included a song of praise for Pfizer’s Paxlovid. Thanks to Paxlovid, PeePaw was standing in the Rose Garden spiking the football.
But when he tested positive on Saturday, what got the blame?
Paxlovid.
If you’re keeping score at home, Pfizer’s COVID vaccine doesn’t stop you from getting COVID and Pfizer’s COVID treatment Paxlovid doesn’t stop you from getting COVID again.
As the old saying goes, you had one job, Pfizer.
Then again, Pfizer’s one job isn’t to stop COVID; it’s to make a crap-ton of money. And according to ABC News, Paxlovid pushed Pfizer’s second-quarter sales to “new heights.”
In retrospect, maybe Joe Biden should have been helicoptered to Walter Reed last week when he first tested positive the same way Donald Trump was.
Or at the very least, maybe the White House shouldn’t have sent the near-octogenarian Joe out to take a premature victory lap the instant he received a negative COVID test.
But you can understand why they did it.
Biden’s presidency has been an endless conga line of failures. His approval numbers are in the toilet. The midterms aren’t looking at all good for his party.
He desperately needed some kind of “win.”
On top of that, the news media has begun openly questioning whether Joe Biden is too old, senile, and infirm to fulfill the duties of President. Joe getting COVID was an optics nightmare for this White House. So sending him out to prematurely declare victory was really their only option.
But anyone who has even a passing understanding of Joe Biden’s political career would’ve known this was going to end up exploding in his face like a trick cigar.
