Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Move Over, Pregnant Man. Here Are 9 More Woke Emojis Apple Is Rolling Out Soon


Apple has finally come out in support of the woke movement, forcing the vast majority of the population, who haven't bought fully into transgender ideology, to have pregnant man emojis on their iPhones. But Apple isn't stopping there. We've got the inside scoop on these 9 even woker emojis the company is rolling out soon, and they are SO. VERY. BRAVE. If you don't stand up and applaud for every single one of these, you are part of the problem:


1. A transgender woman swimmer - Wow, this CLEARLY FEMALE trans woman swimmer crushing all challengers is really inspiring. Go, girl!

2. An emoji for people who identify as attack helicopters PEW PEW PEW -  Brave. But be careful. If you use this ironically as a conservative joke Apple will drone-strike you.

3. A female eggplant emoji - If this grosses you out, check your cis privilege.

4. The new child drag queen emoji - Slay, little drag baby! Slay!

5. A groomer emoji - Support the courageous teachers who just want to teach the young'uns about weird sex stuff!

6. A gay transgender non-binary furry in a wheelchair - Apple has vowed not to rest until every single intersectional identity has its own emoji.

7. A trans MMA fighter beating up a woman - Breaking barriers and also faces.

8. A Ghostbusters female reboot emoji - Use this emoji to show you love the Ghostbusters female reboot or you are a bigot.

9. And finally, a catch-all "I support the current thing" emoji - For when you're not sure which emoji will ensure you don't get canceled. You can't go wrong.