GREENSBORO, NC—After uproar from ghosts in response to Biden's ghost gun ban, Biden appears to have reached a historic compromise with the invisible departed spirit community. This week after a speech in North Carolina, he appeared to shake hands with a ghost after presumably coming to an agreement with him.
"Yes, the President was not confused or lost in any way," said Psaki in response to right-wing criticism of the strange handshaking gesture. "He was merely shaking hands with a real ghost. He is the first President to make this kind of progress with the ghost community and we are very proud of his accomplishments on that front."
Reporters were not given the name of the ghost or told what the ghost said in his exchange with the president—only that the ghost was "totally real" and "totally shook the President's hand."
"We will be withholding the name of the spirit out of respect for the dead," said Psaki. "From now on, if you see President Biden do anything weird in public, just assume he's in intense negotiations with a disembodied specter of someone who passed on many years ago." Psaki then muttered "I can't do this," and stormed off the podium.
When reached for comment at the White House, Biden responded by saying, "Mah gibrugliflibbernoggin! Come on! For real!"