Tuesday, December 28, 2021

The Babylon Bee Presents: Top CNN Moments Of 2021



2021 was a banner year for CNN! For 12 long months, we looked to their fake news coverage for guidance, clarity, and above all, laughs. Let's take a look back at some of CNN's biggest stories of the year! 


January 7: CNN Gravely Reports On 'First Violent Protest In Recent Memory'

It was a dark, dark, very dark day for democracy. Our country had never seen anything like it ever before. CNN courageously broke the story...


January 21: CNN Praises Biden For Causing Sun To Rise In East This Morning

The day after Biden's inauguration, CNN heralded the dawning of a new day in America. Read the article for a trip down memory lane...  


May 17: CNN Hires Trump As News Anchor To Recover Lost Viewers

What do you do when ratings are plummeting? Call Trump, that's what! Now, CNN's ratings are fantastic. Best ratings of all time, maybe ever. 


July 22: CNN Airs Hour-Long PSA On Warning Signs Of Dementia

Do you remember this CNN town hall? Neither do we. Neither does Biden. Sad!


August 14: CNN Praises Taliban For Wearing Masks During Attack

In one fateful night, the Taliban took back Afghanistan, ushering in a new reign of terror. But hey-- they wore masks! CNN praised them for their great example. 


September 4: Biden’s Approval Rating Among CNN Employees Sinks To All-Time Low Of 98%

That's down from their previous low of 100%.


November 1: CNN Anchors All Poop Pants On Air To Show It's Perfectly Normal

Remember when Biden pooped his pants in front of the Pope? CNN put a stop to all the mockery by pooping their pants in solidarity with the President.


November 19: Rittenhouse, Sandmann Agree To Share Joint Custody Of CNN

With Nick Sandmann settling his defamation lawsuit against CNN and Rittenhouse preparing his own, these two young men will have to share custody. 


November 24: CNN Reports On 'Deadly Boat Accident' At Pearl Harbor

Just like the Waukesha deadly SUV accident. 


December 16: CNN Quietly Resets 'Days Since An Employee Committed A Sex Crime' Counter Back To Zero

Well... next year's a fresh start, right?