WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has solved the federal government's budget crisis by renting out ad space on the back of Joe Biden's suit jacket.
"This is a highly visible space, seen all the time during the president's press conferences when he refuses to take questions from the press," said Jen Psaki. "Your brand will be seen by millions of Americans as they anxiously wonder what the president has to say about Americans we've left stranded abroad, inflation, the economy, gas prices, the border crisis, and every other crisis. As soon as the press asks a question, your brand will be captured by dozens of television cameras."
The initial ad placements sold for millions of dollars, and the White House has said that they believe this could raise trillions over the course of Biden's tenure. Of course, if he passes away unexpectedly, the revenue source will dry up, and they will be forced to rent ad space on Kamala Harris's forehead.