Biden's poll numbers are dropping, and the White House is scrambling for ways to get his approval rating up.
The Babylon Bee's top-secret anonymous source inside the White House, codenamed Ben Pjaki, has just leaked us Biden's 8-part plan for winning over the American people once again.
Here it is:
1) Start sniffing women's hair again: For some reason, his poll numbers were a little better when he was doing that. Worth a shot!
2) Launch Kamala Harris into the Sun: People really, really seem to like this idea for some reason.
3) Invade something: Invading another country is always good for a 10-point jump. Maybe we can invade Canada. They've always had it coming.
4) Go back to his roots by hiding in a basement for another 6 months: Biden was never more popular than when he spent an entire year in a basement! And then he received a record number of votes! Who can argue with that kind of popularity?
5) Launch Kamala Harris into the Sun: Wait-- did we say that one already? Huh.
6) Get a spray tan and wear an orange wig: Imitating the greatest, smartest, most popular president of all time? Winning move!
7) Send Dr. Fauci to another galaxy so he can spread his pandemic wisdom with other planets: Or if that's too hard, maybe just the Sun again.
8) Fire everyone he's ever appointed and shut down all Federal agencies: This one's a no-brainer and we're not sure what Biden's waiting for here. Come on, man! This is no joke!