Thursday, June 3, 2021

In Honor Of Pride Month, Here Are The Babylon Bee's Top 2 Genders



Well, it's pride month, which is a time of celebration for all orientations, biological sexes, and genders. Thirty full days of celebrating all the letters in the LGBTQ+ alphabet -- what fun! We at The Babylon Bee don't want to get left behind, of course, so let's kick off Pride Month with a list of our top two genders! 

We had all our writers vote on their favorite genders and narrowed it down to just the best two. Here they are:

1. Women - Women took the top slot this year. Congratulations, women! Women are great. One of the best genders of all time-- everyone says so. They are really beautiful to look at, especially when they are married to you and they smile at you with those beautiful faces of theirs. According to experts, women make life worth living and fill the world with sweetness, warmth, and love! They have the amazing ability to think about 32 things at the same time and predict infinite possible outcomes to every scenario, kind of like Dr. Strange. Amazing! 

Women are so amazing, in fact, that men spent thousands of years fighting wars and building civilization just so women could have air conditioning. Many of us Babylon Bee writers have even selected one wonderful person of this gender to spend the rest of our lives with, since they are so amazing.

Great job, women!

2. Men - Coming in a close second was men. Many of us were surprised that men didn't take the top slot. They have the distinct advantage, after all, of being able to pick what restaurant they want to go to. They are handy around the house. They also drive better and are way better at telling Dad jokes. They also risk their lives climbing high telephone poles and working on dangerous oil rigs, all so women can have air conditioning. But those factors just weren't enough to push them to the top. They tend to be way less good-looking than women, and way smellier. Better luck next time, men!

Congrats to the winners, and check back next year to see whether the same two genders top our list!