U.S.—A new study has found that many conservatives are deciding not to get the COVID-19 vaccine after they learned that liberals will continue staying away from them for their safety.
The Biden administration has been trying to reach out to conservatives to get them to take the vaccine, but the excellent benefits of not getting vaccinated, like being able to be alone all the time and not having to interact with liberals, outweigh the benefits for many Republicans.
"You mean they'll intentionally social distance from me, like, forever? Oh yeah, I'm definitely not getting vaccinated!" said one man in Texas. "No crowds, no liberals bugging me? You mean, like, the Californian transplants who work in my office building won't sit at my lunch table? This is great!"
There is, of course, a slightly increased risk of dying if you don't get the vaccine, but conservatives say that's a risk they're willing to take if it means they don't have to hang out with liberals constantly screaming at them that they're racist Nazi homophobes, "or whatever the current label is."
"I mean, yeah, I could die," said one man in Alabama. "But who wants to live a life with liberals anyway? That's not living, brother.'
Those who do get the vaccine are resorting to wearing their old MAGA hats in order to keep liberals away.