Monday, April 19, 2021

How To Discuss Social Justice With Your Toddler



It can be hard to communicate with toddlers these days, because they are dumb. They only communicate with a few words, some crying and screaming, pooping, and throwing stuff everywhere. They're almost as dumb as babies, and even dumber than teenagers. 

Luckily, these few elements of communication that they know are all we need to explain social justice to them. Using their very limited vocabulary and repertoire of grunts and shouting, here is how you can communicate leftist ideas to your little one:


Redistribution of wealth: BUT TOMMY HAS MORE TOYS THAN ME!

White fragility: White people are crybaby poo-poo heads!

Cisgendered hetero white people: Eeew cooties!!!

Socialism: MINE!

Oppression: I DONT WANNA GO TO BED, MOOOOOOM!!!!

Privilege: IT'S! NOT! FAAAAAIR!!!!

Antifa: [Throw toys through window]

Homophobia: Fraidy cat, fraidy cat!

Reparations: GIVE ME TOMMY'S TOYS NOW!

Peaceful protest: Burn Tommy's house down. Hooray!


Now your kid is woke! Good job!