SACRAMENTO, CA—There wasn't a dry eye in the press room at the governor's office today, as Gavin Newsom bravely announced he was transgender just after Caitlyn Jenner declared a gubernatorial run.
The move is seen by many as an attempt to one-up Jenner with another level of intersectionality and eliminate Newsom's disadvantage as a straight white male running in California.
"You think that Jenner character is so great because of the whole transgender thing?" Newsom said. "Well, have I got news for you."
Newsom then pulled out a blonde wig and a set of makeup and solemnly donned his new persona.
"I am now Gabby Newsom, and my pronouns are 'stunning' and 'brave'," Newsom said proudly as reporters applauded. "I can't hide it any longer."
"Caitlyn's not the only one who can play this game!"
Commentators say they weren't really surprised, since anyone that uses that much hair gel has to be a little sus. "Yeah, we saw this coming," said one reporter for the Sacramento Bee. "And, like, dining at a place called the 'French Laundry' was a bit of a tip-off too."
Newsom is to be featured on the cover of Vanity Fair next month.