BURBANK, CA—In order to silence the dangerous idea that cancel culture is real, Disney cut ties with actress Gina Carano yesterday after she posted memes on social media that suggested cancel culture is bad and also that it exists.
"Cancel culture is just an alt-right conspiracy theory, so we must cancel this actress who suggested it is real," said Kathleen Kennedy. "We are distancing ourselves from this dangerous idea by canceling the woman who perpetrated it."
According to Lucasfilm, Carano was given the opportunity to grovel, promise to do better, renounce her beliefs, and agree to undergo 8 weeks in a Disney reeducation camp if she wished to keep her job. When she refused, she was let go.
"We gave her the chance to avoid cancelation by telling her to recant her belief that cancel culture is real," said Kennedy. "We then tried to burn her at the stake, but our lawyers informed us that's still illegal. For now."
"Only when we force everyone to believe the same thing can we defeat fascism."