EAST HANOVER, NJ—In a long-overdue move, Nabisco has announced they will be dropping the problematic "o" at the end of Oreo and rebranding under the more inclusive and gender-neutral term "OreX."
"We know the world looks to cookie companies like Nabisco for all their guidance in matters of sexual ethics," said the company's CEO F. Ross Johnson. "After a quick meeting with our new diversity coordinator who graduated from college last week, we decided it was time for Oreo to be a part of the solution rather than part of the problem."
"We are proud to introduce new OreX to the world!"
The new cookies will ditch the white cream for an androgynous blend of pink and blue. The recipe will also be changed, using 100% trans-fats.
"If you don't eat our 100% trans-fat cookies," added Johnson, "you're a bigoted transphobe and on the wrong side of history."
Mike Lindell, the founder of MyPillow, responded to Nabisco's announcement announcing his plans to start his own cream-filled chocolate cookie company called "Heter-Oreos" that affirms traditional Christian sexuality.
Nabisco responded to Lindell's announcement with a cease and desist order.