Friday, December 25, 2020

The Sacrifice of Saint Fauci

Yes, sir, my friends. Saint Fauci has had to sacrifice so much to keep our communities healthy and safe. He’s a regular Martyr – a modern-day Thomas More.



In honor of the “sacrifice” he’s made to keep us “healthy and safe,” DC Mayor Muriel Bowser has proclaimed today Dr. Anthony S. Fauci Day. Just so you know, the S. stands for Saint. So it’s actually Dr. Anthony Saint Fauci Day, but since Muriel plans to paint it on a street, she shortened it to save on labor.

Okay, I don’t know if that last part is true. She probably isn’t planning to paint it on a street since Saint Fauci is white.

But the part about today being Dr. Anthony S. Fauci Day is true.

In announcing this bit of sycophantic blather, Muriel tweeted:

“In honor of Dr. Fauci’s 80th birthday tomorrow, I proclaim Thursday December 24, 2020, ‘Dr. Anthony S. Fauci Day’ in Washington, DC.

“We are incredibly proud to count Dr. Fauci among the many DC residents who are sacrificing so much to keep our communities healthy and safe.”

Yes, Saint Fauci has sacrificed so much, hasn’t he?

He sacrificed the drudgery of near-anonymity to become a media superstar.

He appeared on cable news almost nightly with anchors treating his every word as Gospel – such a sacrifice.

He was invited to throw out the first pitch at a ball game then had the privilege of watching the game in person — which is a tremendous sacrifice because nobody else in America was allowed to sit in the stands and watch a ball game in person.

And don’t even get me started on the selfless sacrifice of sitting for photoshoots so he could grace the covers of magazines.

Nobody knows the troubles he’s seen.

Yes, sir, my friends. Saint Fauci has had to sacrifice so much to keep our communities healthy and safe. He’s a regular Martyr – a modern-day Thomas More.

Sure, you saw your business go bankrupt and your employees lose their jobs. But that’s not sacrifice. You don’t know sacrifice — not the way Saint Fauci does!

And don’t you whine to me about not being able to pay your bills, you big babies! You haven’t sacrificed a thing to keep our communities healthy and safe – not like Saint Fauci has!

We don’t know how good we have it having this towering example of martyrdom among us. We are tremendously blessed that someone as selfless as Saint Fauci is sacrificing so much for us. And if you don’t recognize that, why, you’re just a selfish grandma-killer!

Andrew Cuomo, James Comey, Joe Biden, and now Saint Fauci –in America in 2020, those who do untold damage to this country get honors and awards while those who make this country great and kept our economy roaring get $600.

Are you feeling like a chump yet?