Saturday, October 10, 2020

Biden Says His Position On Court Packing Is In His Last Will To Be Opened After His Death



PHOENIX, AZ—Presidential candidate Joe Biden has once again deferred on the question of court packing. When asked about it at a recent campaign stop, he said, “You’ll know my campaign’s position when I’m dead and my running mate is president.”

Many weren’t satisfied with this answer, but Biden insisted it was the only one that made sense. “Let’s face it, people want to make my answer the story,” Biden told reporters. “It’s pointless, I tell ya! I’m unlikely to last until January. It doesn’t matter what I think about court packing. It’s all up to that lady -- Carly or something. You know, my running mate.”

Biden says he did leave his positions on court packing in his last will to be opened after his death, but he doesn’t remember what they are. Plus, he said, for all he knows, that “cop lady” may just ignore them.

Senator Kamala Harris was also asked about her position on court packing, but she said she couldn’t answer right now because she was busy drinking a soda. She then proceeded to continuously chug a 2-liter bottle of Mr. Pibb until reporters gave up and left.