Thursday, September 17, 2020

Hispandering Joe


Joe’s “Despacito” Hispandering makes Hillary’s “hot sauce” pander to black voters look understated and charming by comparison.



I’m sure by now you’ve all see the absolutely cringey video clip of septuagenarian Joe Biden pandering to Hispanics big-time while attempting to dance to “Despacito.”  Actually, let’s just call it Hispandering.

It’s agonizing.

It’s embarrassing.

And it makes Hillary’s absurd “hot sauce” pander to blacks look understated and charming by comparison.

Hillary: “Nobody can pander to minorities like I can!”

Joe: “Hold my Dos Equis!”

Now, just for giggles, I looked up the English translation of the lyrics to “Despacito.” And let’s just say Hispandering Joe and his absurd campaign team couldn’t have picked a more fitting ditty for the pervy old man.

I want to breathe your neck slowly

Let me tell you things in your ears

Oh, no. That’s just a wee bit on the nose for old Hispandering Joe.


I suppose it could’ve been worse.

No, on second thought, it couldn’t have been worse.

Did Team Biden look at the cratering Hispanic support in Florida and actually, consciously decide “Hey! You know what would help? Have Joe fire up his iPhone and play ‘Despacito.’ He can even dance around a little.”

There is no way in hell Hispandering Joe came up with this “Despacito” brainstorm; he barely has the brain power to generate intermittent showers. No. Someone on his campaign team intentionally decided to do this and instructed Joe on how to pull up a song on his iPhone and press PLAY.

Actually, if I had to guess, I’d say a staffer pulled up the song for him, handed him the phone just before Joe went on stage and whispered, “All you have to do is press PLAY.” 



This poor old man. It’s almost as if his campaign is intentionally making him look ridiculous.

And what’s with encouraging the frail, barely-there old coot to dance? Do these idiots not realize they’re putting this man in the position of making an even bigger fool of himself?

This is elder abuse.

At least when Hillary did her stupid “hot sauce” bit or when she claimed Mexican food was her favorite, she was the one making the conscious decision to shamelessly pander.

But it is Joe’s not steering this Hispandering Titanic.

Like an older sibling forcing his five-year-old retarded brother to put on Mommy’s dress and heels and walk down the street, this Hispandering was not Joe’s decision, but something done to him by his desperate, feckless campaign.

Where the hell is Jill — sorry, DOCTOR Biden?

Is she really this desperate to be First Lady that she’s willing to put her sick old husband through embarrassing stunts this?