Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Millennials Finally Take Coronavirus Seriously As Avocado Toast Supplies Run Out



U.S.—Many millennials haven't been taking coronavirus seriously, continuing to go out to crowded concerts, theme parks, and doorknob licking conventions. 

But finally, many 20-40-year-olds are treating this crisis with the gravity it deserves as the ingredients to make avocado toast begin to dwindle at their local grocery stores. First, many of them went to their local cafes where they can spend $15 on a slice of the delicious toast. But the cafes were either shut down or completely out of bread and avocados and couldn't fill their orders.

So, they did the unthinkable and went to the grocery store to get the stuff to make avocado toast on their own.

"No bread... no avocados... I can't even! I have literally lost the ability to even! My evening capability is totally gone!" cried one Portland woman as she began to freak out at her local supermarket. "This! Is! Serious!"

Other essentials were missing from the shelves too, like LaCroix, kombucha, and quinoa. "And can anyone tell me where the pumpkin spice latte aisle is!? My, like, barista usually makes it for me! It must be in the vegetable aisle."

But nothing is making millennials freak out as much as the lack of avocado toast. Many are even saying we should switch to socialism, where the shelves are always empty like this but the government provides lines you can wait in for avocado toast.