Trump To Deliver State Of The Union
In Scuba Gear To
Avoid Drowning In Liberal Tears
WASHINGTON D.C.—After completely mopping the floor with the snowflake libs on the Senate floor, the Trump administration fears that he is at high risk of drowning in a literal tidal wave of liberal tears during Tuesday's State of the Union address.
"The risk for liberal tear downpour is always high any time Trump speaks," said climatologist Dr. Herbert Thwayne. "But under these conditions, the risk is driven up exponentially. Not only is there going to be a record amount of crying like a bunch of babies, but the melting snowflakes are going to cause a rapid rise in the sea level. It's smart for the president to take any precautions necessary."
For the general public, Weather scientists recommend staying indoors on Tuesday and for families located in blue states to wear life vests on Tuesday night.