NEW YORK, NY—Saturday Night Live recently hired comedian Frank Wendell to be on its team of writers. Everything was going well for a while as Wendell wrote several monologues about Trump and a particularly well-received sketch that was just a large woman yelling "ORANGE MAN BAD!" for fourteen minutes.
"He seemed to fit right in here at SNL," said one producer. "He really seemed to jive with the philosophy of our show, which is to just yell about Trump and not write any funny material."
But little did SNL know he was hiding a dark past. Investigators with nothing better to do started to dig into Wendell's Twitter and Facebook history and unearthed a video of a sketch he wrote and performed. The sketch was packed with funny jokes, punchy zingers, and hilarious punchlines. "What is this!?" said an SNL human resources rep as she watched the sketch. "Is that---is that a joke?" No one answered her. "No, seriously---is that a joke? I'm not sure what a joke is. How did this guy get past our screening process? I want him out the door immediately!"
Even worse for Wendell, not a single one of the old jokes he wrote was about Trump.
"Frank does not live up to the high standards of completely unfunny jokes that we hold here at Saturday Night Live," a showrunner said in a statement. "Our motto is 'Live from New York, it's time for your weekly Saturday night lecture on Trump,' and we apologize for associating ourselves with this man who is not virtuous enough for us."
"He is canceled."
Wendell has promised to "do better" and began beating himself with a plank of rusty nails to begin the progressive sacrament of penance.