You may feel terrible about being a member of the Republican Party because it’s the stupidest party in American politics until you remember that the Democrat Party exists – and no, the Libertarian Party is not actually a party; it’s the motley crew of pot-addled sophomores holding forth in the dorm suite common area at 2 a.m. of American politics. For all the failures, foibles, and follies of the inept GOP, the current Democrat Party is much, much worse off. I mean, just look at them. They’re treading water in a swamp of narcissistic mediocrity, abandoned by former allies like the working class, controlled by over-credentialed echo-chamber neurotics, and in thrall to a coalition of sexually confused neo-Marxist weirdos, losers, and mutations.
You really gotta hand it to them – we couldn’t imagine a party more inept than the Republicans, but the Democrats have managed to prove us wrong. They’re coming off a disastrous last few years where they installed a human eggplant as their party leader, a president whose growing senility was built on a solid foundation of a half-century of being an idiot. This guy wrecked the economy, threw open the borders, and managed to get a bunch of Americans killed by some of the few remaining Third World savages that he hadn’t already invited into our country. Then, after four years of nonstop babbling about “Our Democracy,” the donkey politburo pulled his card following a disastrous debate where the best thing you could say about his performance was that he didn’t soil himself, at least as far as we know.
They replaced him with Kamala Harris, a woman of towering unaccomplishment who was so dumb that they wouldn’t even let her talk to the fawning media until they basically had to, at which point she demonstrated why they wouldn’t let her speak to the media in the first place. She blew her most important decision, selecting her running mate, by channeling Harvey Korman and not picking Josh Shapiro. Instead, she invited Tim Walz to prance out onto the national stage, purportedly because he could attract men, proving once again that context is everything.
The Democrat Party has become utterly feminized, its leadership a collection of Chardonnay-swilling, SSRI-gobbling, urbanized pinko crones – and that’s just the ones who identify as male. The allegedly female ones – let’s not even get started with the party’s bizarre trans obsession – are mostly middle-aged, naggy Karens with sour apple doll faces and the conviction that Gaia has instilled in them the duty to ensure that the manager hears about how America is misbehaving. The exception is the phony likes of Jasmine Crockett, whose transformation from articulate, educated young lady to finger-wagging, ghetto-fabulous stereotype is just plain embarrassing. It says a lot – and nothing good – that harpies like these run the Democrat Party.
Naturally, that repels anyone with descended testicles. The Democrats have now realized that they have a man problem, starting with the fact that they hate men – real men, the kind who like beer and guns and God and America. Like Hollywood is always trying to push glum, hefty shrews like Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer upon disgusted and appalled moviegoers, the Democrat Party seems obsessed with the idea of forcing flaccid phonies like Walz and Pete Buttigieg down our throats, thereby redefining manhood into something that has nothing to do with manhood. Just look at fey X influencer Harry Sisson; despite his fumbling online catfishing, he’s less a masculine role model than a sassy sidekick. They put David Hogg in as a DNC vice chair, at least for a little while, presumably to capture the loyalty of the key “males who yearn to be disarmed and neutered” demographic. As many men appeared at the polls to vote for “Shotgun Tim” Walz as Tim Walzes appeared for deployment.
Stunningly, their femboy ploy has failed, and the Democrats remain utterly baffled by how to appeal to people with penises. Naturally, their bright idea is to throw money at the problem. They’re dunning the usual billionaires to pony up some cash to find themselves a comparable podcast voice to Joe Rogan and similar new media influencers, except you can’t buy authenticity. Cue visions of Steve Buscemi showing up to greet his fellow kids: “Young male-identifying persons, like you, I enjoy a hearty brew, video games, and sportsball.”
But it gets even better. According to the New York Times, the ace anthropologists of the Democrat Party have decided they need to perform an in-depth study of what makes men male and how to communicate with these backward primitives:
"The prospectus for one new $20 million effort, obtained by The Times, aims to reverse the erosion of Democrat support among young men, especially online. It is code-named SAM - short for 'Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan' - and promises investment to 'study the syntax, language and content that gains attention and virality in these spaces.' It recommends buying advertisements in video games, among other things."
They have tried this stuff before, with hilarious results. Say what you will about the Republican Party, but at least it’s not squandering its sweet, sweet cash on syntax studying – which is too bad because I totally would’ve taken its money and built that wine cellar I’ve been wanting. Oh well, I’ll give you the 411 for free, GOP: Don’t be sissies.
Shhhh, do not share this valuable advice with the Democrats!
Oh, go ahead. They won’t listen. In fact, their proposed solutions indicate that they don’t even understand the problem. They seek to find a lefty podcast superstar and “gain attention and virality” not to learn about what men actually want but to find better ways to tell men what to want. Here’s the challenge for the Democrats – they want to appeal to the people who their ideology has driven away without changing their ideology. They’re offering normals the same reeking dung as always, just polished up.
Have you ever heard a single Democrat explain which of their prized political positions they’re willing to compromise, much less abandon, in order to reach out to the people they’ve alienated? The voters they’ve lost didn’t wander away and head towards Trump because he’s shiny. They left because they don’t like the things the Democrats stand for. So, what do the Democrats propose to change to get them back? Are they going to moderate their jihad against babies? Are they going to keep naked dudes out of girls’ locker rooms? Are they going to start putting criminals in jail instead of back on the street? Will they quit trying to take our guns? Will they stop trying to steal our money to pay off the debts of blue-haired gender studies graduates? Will they cease their efforts to make us stop barbecuing and driving trucks in order to appease their angry weather goddess? Are they going to quit talking about how America sucks and how Americans are white nationalist racists of racism?
Of course not. Their offer is nothing. They’re not going to do any of these things because these are all sacred tenets in their secular pagan religion. To them, holding these stupid positions makes them good people. It’s what distinguishes them from the masses. To ask them to change is to ask them to give up their identity as well as the moral high ground, so their plan is to hector and pester more intensely so that normal people will submit.
This brings us to the key difference between the current Republican Party and the current Democrat Party. It’s the difference between bottom-up and top-down evolution. The current Republican Party changed over the last 20 years in the direction that normal people wanted. The GOP base got sick of useless hacks like the Bushes and Mitt Romney, guys mostly concerned with gentlemanly managing decline and went with the guy who got the things they wanted done while owning the libs. But the Democrats did the exact opposite. The Democrat Party doesn’t want to be led by the voters; like all good communists, its leadership considers themselves the cadre who will lead the masses. The Democrats are finding out what happens when you give a revolution and nobody comes.
Fortunately for us, they can’t change direction anytime soon. They have dug themselves into a hole, and they’re still digging. We’ve seen it before. After their 1968 loss, the Democrats decided that the voters were wrong, and they should tack super-hard to the left. They were destroyed in 1972. After their 1980 loss, they decided the voters were wrong, and they should tack super-hard to the left. They were destroyed in 1984. After their 2024 loss, they will decide the voters are wrong and that they should tack super-hard to the left once again. They will convince themselves that it’s a great idea to nominate AOC or Buttigieg or some other spazzy clown who is extremely popular in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, Scat Francisco, and the Harvard faculty lounge (if there’s anything left of it when Trump gets finished with it) but who repels and disgusts normal people. They will get destroyed in 2028.
And you know what? Good. Because the only way a party as stupid as the current establishment Republican Party can win is if it’s competing against a party as stupid as the current Democrat Party.
