X22, And we Know, and more- April 16

 

 

10 People We'd Like To Launch Into Space

Sponsored·Apr 16, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

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Following the success of the Blue Origin space mission that sent Katy Perry into space, many have wondered: why we didn't shoot her out there before? Who else we could send into space?

Here are the top ten people we at the Bee would love to launch into space:

1. "Flo" from Progressive: She had a good run. Sorry, Flo.

2. People who say "all the feels": Shooting those people into orbit would give us...well, never mind.

3. Sigourney Weaver: We don't have anything against her, she just might come in handy in the event the craft is invaded by aliens.

4. Flat Earthers: Watch out for the ceiling!

5. The composer of "Baby Shark":Make it stop.

6. A crying baby: Just to ruin the trip for everyone else.

7. Anyone who uses the term "fur baby": Also, the fur babies.

8. The inventor of mariachi music: Go where there are no sound waves, friend.

9. The girl who said she wanted to go to homecoming with you when you were a sophomore in high school, which seemed so surreal because she was a junior and pretty cute, and then when it was time to leave the football game for the dance you overheard her saying to her friend she couldn't wait to hang out with Lance and it turns out she'd wanted to go with him the whole time and you were just her ride there: She's had this coming for a long time.

10. Steve: Obviously.

That's just for starters. Who else are we launching? Let us know in the comments.

Harvard Warns Loss Of Federal Funding Will Cripple Their Ability To Find A Final Solution To The Jewish Problem

Babylon Bee🐝 

CAMBRIDGE, MA — In the wake of the Trump administration freezing $2.3 billion in federal funding to Harvard University, leaders of the university are sounding the alarm that the loss of funding will severely cripple their ability to find a final solution to the Jewish Problem.

The Jewish Problem, according to Harvard, is that there are many Jews on campus and these Jews believe they have a right to attend classes without being harmed, even though they are Jews. Trump had frozen federal funding in part over a disagreement with the university's tolerance for violent antisemitism on campus, which Harvard says may actually be part of the solution they've been trying to find.

"We have to solve the Jewish Problem," said University spokesperson Abdul Muhammed Al-Muhammed. "Federal funds being frozen mean we simply can't conduct the important research we have been working on to combat Jewish influence and control over the various media, economies, and governments around the world."

"Sieg Heil, and Allahu Akbar," he added.

At publishing time, Harvard was dipping into their $53 billion in endowment funds to see about converting some of their buildings into an area where they can concentrate all their Jewish students so they don't infringe on the rights of all the other students on campus.

Golani Brigade rescues dog kidnapped from Nir Oz on October 7

 

Billy, a three-and-a-half-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, was found near Rafah, and was revealed to be from Nir Oz when she was brought to Israel for treatment.   

The IDF found and rescued a dog that was kidnapped from Nir Oz on October 7, 2023, near Rafah, local media reported.

Billy, a three-and-a-half-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, belongs to Rachel Danzig, the ex-wife of Alex Danzig and sister of Itzhak Elgarat, both of whom were kidnapped and murdered in Hamas captivity.

Aviad Shapira, the Golani reservist who found Billy, told N12 that he had fought to take her from Gaza after she ran up and jumped on him. 

“She was with me in Gaza for four days, and I took care of her. I went out for the Passover Seder, and she was with my family,” he explained.

“Today, I went with her to the veterinary clinic and checked her chip. It turns out she’s the dog of the Danzig family from Nir Oz, and I called them. They told me their story, and tomorrow, we’ll reunite them.” 

The Golani Brigade returned to fighting in Gaza

The Golani Brigade has returned to fighting in Gaza under the command of the 36th Division, the IDF announced last week.

Throughout the week, the forces operated in the Rafah area to locate and destroy the remaining terror infrastructure. During this time, they also located weapons and eliminated terrorists.

It was announced earlier that the IDF had expanded its ground operations in Gaza overnight on Friday – in the enclave’s north and south – and took control of several areas in Beit Hanun, Beit Lahiya, Rafah, and the Morag Corridor.

In the early hours of Saturday morning, the Israel Air Force and artillery batteries operated to target terrorist objectives and support the operating troops. 

https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-850250