Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Minneapolis City Council To Offer Looting Passports


MINNEAPOLIS, MN—The Minneapolis City Council has voted unanimously for the equitable distribution of looting passports to peaceful protestors. 

“It can be confusing for citizens to know if a crime is acceptable or not based on the ebb and flow of the City Council’s agenda,” said Councilperson Maria Saliva. “With looting passports, protestors can know when it’s OK to loot stores and destroy businesses in the name of social justice.”

Looting passports could not come at a better time, as eight months have passed since looting was in vogue, and many peaceful protestors are in dire need of updated name-brand clothing and bigger TVs.

When asked whether he believed looting passports could be seen as unfairly punishing honest business owners, President Biden replied, “Well, you can’t swat a cow gator without priming the barrel bark, which gobbles up the huffles for good ol’ spazamaturble. You know?”

At press time, the City Council was discussing the logistics of distributing the passports based on a citizen’s melanin levels.

“Obviously, fighting the oppression of white supremacy and ushering in a utopia of equity for all begins with looting,” stated a council member for Minneapolis from his suburban mansion surrounded by police.


Top French court upholds decision not to try suspect in Jewish woman’s murder

 

France's highest court on Wednesday ruled that the suspected murderer of Jewish woman Sarah Halimi was not criminally responsible and could not go on trial, provoking anger from anti-racism groups who say the verdict puts Jews at risk. 

Halimi, an Orthodox Jewish woman in her sixties, died in 2017 after being pushed out of the window of her Paris flat by neighbour Kobili Traoré, who shouted "Allahu Akbar" ("God is great" in Arabic).

The verdict by the Court of Cassation, means Traoré will not face any trial. It confirmed past rulings from lower courts. 

Traoré, a heavy pot smoker, has been in psychiatric care since Halimi's death. The court said he committed the killing after succumbing to a "delirious fit" and was thus not responsible for his actions.

Her murder stoked debate over a new strain of anti-Semitism among radicalised Muslim youths in predominantly immigrant neighbourhoods.

 

 French President Emmanuel Macron criticised the lower court's insanity-finding in January last year, drawing a sharp riposte from the country's top magistrates who invoked the separation of powers.

 

 

Macron said there was "a need for a trial" even if the judge decided there was no criminal responsibility.

"This is an additional drama that adds to this tragedy," said the International League against Racism and Anti-Semitism (LICRA) after the ruling.

"From now on in our country we can torture and kill Jews with complete impunity," added the president of the Representative Council of Jewish Institutions in France (CRIF), Francis Kalifat.

'Bad message' for French Jews

Following Wednesday's verdict, lawyers representing Halimi's family said they intend to refer the case to the European Court of Human Rights. 

"It's a bad message for French Jewish citizens," said the lawyer for Halimi's brother, Muriel Ouaknine Melki. 

But Traoré's lawyer Patrice Spinosi said that while he could "obviously understand the victims' frustration that there will not be a trial" the law "in its current state" does not allow perpetrators to be tried in such circumstances.

 

 

The case of Sarah Halimi is an emotive one for the French Jewish community, which was dismayed at the initial reluctance of the judiciary to formally label her killing anti-Semitic.

French Jews have been repeatedly targeted by jihadists in recent years.

In 2012, Islamist gunman Mohamed Merah shot dead three children and a teacher at a Jewish school in the southern city of Toulouse.

Three years later, a jihadist gunman gunned down four people at a Jewish supermarket in Paris in an attack that coincided with a deadly raid on satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo.

 

https://www.france24.com/en/france/20210414-top-french-court-upholds-decision-not-to-try-suspect-in-jewish-woman-s-murder 

 

 


 

Bernie Madoff: Disgraced financier dies in prison

 

Disgraced financier Bernie Madoff, who was convicted for conning investors out of billions of dollars, has died in prison at age 82.

The death was announced by the Bureau of Prisons.

Mr Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison in 2009 after he admitted he had defrauded investors through a Ponzi scheme, which paid out using their money rather than any profits.

It collapsed during the financial crisis of 2008.

 

 

Who was Bernie Madoff?

Mr Madoff started his financial career aged 22 with $5,000 from money made from summer holiday jobs such as working as a garden sprinkler installer in New York.

He then set up Bernard L Madoff Investment Securities in 1960.

 

 

 

His firm became one of the largest market-makers - matching buyers and sellers of stocks - and Mr Madoff served as chairman of the Nasdaq stock exchange.

The firm was investigated eight times by the US Securities and Exchange Commission because it made exceptional returns.

But it was the global recession which effectively prompted Mr Madoff's demise as investors, hit by the downturn, tried to withdraw about $7bn from his funds and he could not find the money to cover it.

The list of Madoff's victims includes film director Steven Spielberg's charitable foundation, Wunderkinder.

UK banks were also among the victims with HSBC Holdings saying it had exposure of around $1bn. Other corporate victims were Royal Bank of Scotland and Man Group and Japan's Nomura Holdings.

But it is not just the elite and large firms who were victims of the fraud.

School teachers, farmers, mechanics and many others have also lost money.

 

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-56750103 

 


 

Indefinite Incarceration for Protesters With ‘Wrong’ Politics



As a Minneapolis suburb devolves into chaos, Americans are once again reminded of the different set of rules that applies to protestors on the Left.


Joe Biden’s Justice Department wants to keep Richard Barnett in jail—indefinitely.

The Arkansas man, photographed showboating inside House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office on January 6, has been behind bars for more than three months. Barnett occupied Pelosi’s office for six whole minutes; he absconded with a piece of mail and left her a note that read “Nancy, Bigo was here, you Bitch.”

The desk belonged to a Pelosi aide, not the speaker herself. Several reporters and photographers who also happened to be in Pelosi’s office at the very same time prompted Barnett to sit at the desk and “act natural” as they took a series of photos.

Death threats against Barnett’s family immediately started when a press photograph of Barnett went viral that afternoon; Pelosi’s daughter tweeted the picture right after it was taken. Upon his return home, Barnett met with FBI investigators without an attorney present, allowed for a search of his home, and turned himself in.

He was taken into custody on January 8 and charged with trespassing, disorderly conduct, and possession of a “deadly or dangerous weapon,” to wit, a walking stick that also can be used as a stun gun. He never used it.

A local judge authorized Barnett’s conditional release a week later but federal prosecutors, as they’ve done in many cases, immediately appealed to the chief judge of the D.C. district court, which is handling every Capitol breach case, to deny Barnett’s release.

Judge Beryl Howell sided with the Justice Department and ordered Barnett, a retired firefighter with no criminal record, transported to Washington, D.C. where he remains incarcerated awaiting trial next month. (He is one of more than three dozen Capitol protesters denied bail and currently held in solitary confinement conditions at the D.C. Correctional Treatment Facility. Barnett reportedly has been attacked by prison guards; one allegedly told the inmate that he “hate[s] all white people.”) 

A grand jury subsequently returned an eight-count indictment against Barnett including one charge of “parading, demonstrating, or picketing in a Capitol Building.” The U.S. landmark is once known as the “People’s House” now is considered “Pelosi’s House.” Lowly Americans are not welcome.

But it isn’t just the felony weapons charge that convinced prosecutors Barnett poses a threat to society. He can’t go home, according to the Justice Department, because Barnett is too controlling of his common-law wife, Tammy Newburn.

Under intense interrogation by Assistant U.S. Attorney Kimberly Harris in January, Newburn admitted sometimes Barnett “interrupts me.” Harris was alarmed Barnett stopped his wife from allowing FBI agents to look at her phone without a warrant when investigators first arrived at their home for questioning.

Harris: “You didn’t think it was weird that he wouldn’t just let you show the agents yourself on your phone?”

Newburn: “No.”

Harris: “Do you recall how he interrupted you several times while you were trying to tell about different events that had gone on and he interrupted you and said, ‘let me tell the story.’”

Newburn: “He could have.”

Harris: “It appears that during that whole interaction, he ordered you around and that you really had no voice of your own during that conversation with the FBI.”

Newburn: “No, I have a voice.”

Harris: “Do you really think you have the ability to report to this Court if he violates any condition if the Court were to release him?”

Newburn: “Yes.”

But Michael Sherwin, the acting U.S. attorney in charge of the initial phase of the Justice Department’s “unprecedented” probe into the events of January 6, didn’t believe her. 

Sherwin—who recently bragged his office arrested more than 100 people prior to January 20 in a show of “shock and awe” to stop people from protesting Joe Biden’s inauguration—argued Newburn would not be an appropriate custodian. “The evidence shows that the defendant actively seeks to hinder and control Ms. Newburn,” Sherwin wrote to Judge Howell on January 27. “The defendant’s bullying and obstructive behavior further weighs in favor of detention.”

Howell once again concurred with the government. In her January 29 ruling, Howell called Barnett’s conduct “brazen,” and scolded Barnett for “bragging” about what he had done.

But Barnett’s lawyers finally are fighting back. Joseph McBride, Barnett’s attorney, petitioned the court last week to release his client pending a May 4 trial.

McBride’s brief details a long list of constitutional violations, including Barnett’s Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Amendment rights. Exculpatory statements were omitted from the record; the so-called stun gun had no batteries when Barnett brought it to the Capitol—it was used solely as a walking stick.

And as for the FBI interview that so alarmed investigators, prosecutors, and the judge: “This sophisticated duo of government agents purposefully camouflages questions designed to illicit [sic] incriminating information with small talk in a deliberate effort to get Mr. Barnett to waive his rights against self-incrimination and to counsel,” McBride wrote on April 5. Barnett and his wife believed law enforcement agents were interested in the multiple death threats made against the family but in reality, the FBI was collecting evidence to be used against him.

In an interesting twist, McBride took aim at the “smug, elitist, condescending members of America’s ruling class” who mock regular Americans. “[A]s members of the non-college-educated working class, they struggle to pay bills, have no savings, are crippled with debt, and are increasing[ly] silenced.” They are “the constant butt of jokes about needing to shop at Walmart because they are poor—and they carry a great deal of shame because of it.”

Where is the lie?

Despite the fact Barnett didn’t assault anyone, vandalize government property, attack a police officer, pose any sort of lethal danger to lawmakers, let himself be photographed and interviewed by reporters, and cooperated with law enforcement, Biden’s Justice Department continues to treat him as a hardened criminal. The new acting U.S. attorney overseeing the agency’s sprawling manhunt filed a motion late Monday to keep Barnett incarcerated for at least another month.

“[T]his defendant showed off his stun gun to a crowd, posed for photographers while occupying the office of the Speaker of the House, stole a piece of her official correspondence, left a disturbing and menacing handwritten note in her office, and repeated that message on video to the media as well as on a bullhorn to a crowd outside the Capitol,” Channing D. Phillips wrote April 12.

Phillips, without evidence, accused Barnett of having a “connection to QAnon” and believing a “fictitious, politicized conspiracy theory” about the 2020 presidential election. “The defendant’s actions and statements could not be more clear: He has no regard for the rule of law and he will flagrantly violate it to further his interests and goals.”

D.C. District Court Judge Chris Cooper, an Obama appointee married to a top aide of former Attorney General Eric Holder, soon will decide Barnett’s short-term fate.

Capitol defendants denied bail received some relief last month when a D.C. appellate court denounced the pre-trial detention for the “zip tie guy,” Eric Munchel, and his mother, Lisa Eisenhart. (Both finally were released after more than two months in jail.)

The Munchel ruling is affecting other cases as several defendants, including Barnett, now cite the court’s decision as justification for release; Judge Howell has made her displeasure with the order well known in court.

As a Minnesota town devolves into chaos and destruction after a police shooting over the weekend with no sign anyone has been arrested, Americans are once again reminded of the two sets of rules for protestors: one group gets cover from the news media, the political class and Joe Biden and the other group is held hostage for low-level offenses with no support whatsoever.


Democrats: ‘Voting Needs To Be So Easy That Even The Most Uninformed Idiot Can Do It’



WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats have slammed Georgia's voting laws and similar laws across the country, and are demanding that voting be made easier. 

"Voting is too hard. It needs to be made so easy that even the most uninformed moron in the country could do it," said Senator Chuck Schumer in a press conference. "As a matter of fact, we need more uninformed morons voting. We also need rubes, simpletons, goobers, nincompoops, dunces, dullards, cretins, nitwits, and half-wits voting as well."

According to election law experts, voting in most states requires only the most basic human life skills to accomplish-- such as having an ID, standing in a line, and pressing buttons. Democrats believe that's too high a barrier for their voter base.

"Voting for Democrats should be basically automatic, as long as you have at least one brain cell," Schumer continued. "Our democracy is stronger when more people vote."

Democrats are currently polling well among uninformed morons and currently enjoy comfortable leads among simpletons, dolts, and oafs. 

"If we can somehow get those people to the polls," said Schumer, "we'll never lose another election!"


The perpetual pandemic

Why politicians, pundits and ‘experts’ don’t want COVID to end

pandemic


The coronavirus pandemic was a black-swan event the likes of which this planet hadn’t seen in almost a hundred years. It caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and crashed the global economy, resulting in the largest socioeconomic change since 2008. It was, in short, not good. Yet there are pockets of public health experts and corporate media pundits who seem content to play out an endless cycle of pandemic porn. This runs contrary to what the majority of the population wants to watch and how most Americans are choosing to live their lives.

As COVID cases and deaths in Michigan soar, under a #girlboss governor who received endless praise in New York Times puff-pieces, the free state of Texas is almost completely open, with full baseball stadiums, no mask mandates — and a steadily declining COVID death rate. Dr Anthony Fauci must be scratching his head at how this could possibly be. Of course, Fauci is the same expert who praised Andrew Cuomo’s handling of managing the pandemic as well. He’s one of several public health officials who see their time at the podium possibly coming to an end. His tenure skipping from media outlet to media outlet, offering mixed messages on vaccines and a return to normalcy, is soon to expire.


When Business Insider asked Fauci if he saw himself attending indoor dining anytime soon, the good doctor said no, even though he is fully vaccinated. Movie theaters? That was also a no. Airplane travel? Nope. We don’t know if Fauci was speaking as a leading health expert and the top epidemiologist in the country, or simply an obsessive compulsive and raging hypochondriac. That’s the problem: Anthony Fauci has wrapped himself in a cocoon of personal skepticism on everything from sporting games to weddings, apparently unaware that these events have resumed over most of the country.

But Fauci is not alone in issuing mixed messaging about getting the country back on track. Several mainstream media outlets aren’t quite ready to move on either. MSNBC’s Joy Reid (or was it a hacker?) tweeted that ‘I too am one vax down, but even when I get the second shot, I am too “scurred” to be out there wildin. No flying and no indoor activities for me. Nope!’ The Washington Post ran a perspective piece declaring ‘I’m vaccinated, but I’m really not ready to leave my pandemic cocoon.’ Poor you!

Earlier this week when the FDA suspended all doses of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine over six cases of possible blood clotting in seven million doses (literally less one in a million), Fauci said they were simply following the science and could not confirm whether the J&J vaccine would even be made available again. This is sure to reverberate throughout the country; a considerably-sized portion of the population is already vaccine-hesitant.

Most of us are already exasperated by mixed messaging from every government agency in charge of public perception. The FAA and CDC both said vaccinated people should still not fly on airplanes, before pulling back and then declaring it safe to do so. President Biden, who has been fully vaccinated for four months, still wanders around in a mask, as does the Vice President who shadows him at every turn. The media and the Biden administration want to tell everyone that the vaccines work, but are unwilling to demonstrate the perks of getting vaccinated. These people are not interested in returning to normal by the end of the year. That’s saying nothing of the antics by national teachers’ unions attempting to extort the public before allowing their members to return to classrooms.

Perhaps the personal anxiety being displayed in the pages of the New York Times and Washington Post is simply lifestyle bias: journalists in DC and New York perceive the entire country to be boxed in as they are; they struggle to accept that Florida and Texas have been open for months. Perhaps the Biden administration sees an opening for a broad and restructuring opportunity to push through an ambitious agenda for the country on the back of the pandemic and doesn’t want to let a good crisis go to waste. Perhaps Anthony Fauci sees the curtain falling on his moment in the spotlight.

One thing seems obvious as more and more people become immunized against both the virus and hesitant elites — life is going to resume whether the ruling class wants it to or not. As the institutional figureheads find excuse after excuse to prolong the pandemic, their several messaging missteps mean their words aren’t having the intended effect. Soon enough, the politicians, pundits and ‘experts’ will see that the American public is content to leave them behind and tune them out.


Lawfare Activated – 16 Top Leftist Law Firms Plan “SWAT” Teams to Battle State Election Reform Legislation


Thus the need for “America-First Legal”, the counter strike group put together by Stephen Miller.

NBC is reporting that sixteen major national law firms (all leftist aligned) have signed-on to an agreement to create rapid response “SWAT” style legal teams to immediately drag any state election reform efforts into court.

(Via NBC) – More than a dozen of the country’s top law firms have committed to join forces to challenge voting restrictions across the country NBC News reports, adding legal might to the corporate pressure campaign opposing Republican-led attempts to overhaul elections in the wake of former President Donald Trump’s loss.

One of the effort’s leaders, Brad Karp, chairman of the law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison of New York, said Monday that 16 firms had signed on so far, including his. The lawyers will act like “SWAT teams” for legal action, he said. Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, a Yale School of Management professor who is working to help mobilize corporate America against the restrictions, described the legal coalition as an “army of election law experts ready to dispatch at a moment’s notice.”

The group came together from conversations among major law firms about publicly taking a stand against restrictive voting laws like the one enacted in Georgia last month, as well as bills under consideration in Texas, Arizona, Florida and other states. (read more)

“The law is what we say it is”…


Trouble Ahead, Inflation Jumps More than Expected – Gasoline Prices Up 9.1% in One Month, YOY Inflation 2.6%


The Bureau of Labor Statistics highlights some alarming inflation numbers today [Link Here] that are unfortunately, not unexpected…. unless you are a liberally trained economist (most of them) and so the results are surprisingly “unexpected”.    But the actual JoeBama-nomic policy is even worse because wages increased less than inflation increased, so real wages (actual purchasing power) decreased.  That spells trouble, Trouble.

Middle-class wage earners already know this problem; you are seeing it at the gas pumps and at the grocery store.  Fuel prices are rapidly increasing and the amount of inflation in the ‘at home’ food industry (grocery store) is even more concerning.

Let me first walk through the data and then provide some forward analysis with tips to help you offset what is about to hit.

First, it is important to know that BLS price survey data lags actual prices as felt today.  The prices you are seeing today/tommorrow at the store and gas pump will not show up in the rolled-up data for over a month….  So the data released today is unfortunately far behind what you are witnessing in real time.

Gas prices rose last month by 9.1%.  The year-over-year inflation number is an alarming 2.6 percent last month.  Keep in mind that retail grocery prices are not in the inflation number, and they generally follow the same price index as fuel; so it is safe to say monthly grocery store price increases are in the 8 to 10 percent range.

Part of the reason gas and food track together is fuel and energy prices are the #2 cost within the food sector.  With packaging prices increasing; with fuel prices and distribution costs increasing; with energy prices increasing; all costs associated with food production, processing, delivery, warehousing and distribution, all end up in the final price at the grocery store.

This problem with inflation is only going to get worse as the FED gets more involved (that’s coming), because interest rates are already disconnected from the economic costs associated with business investment. [Note: the Fed said last year that it would hold its benchmark interest rate near zero, for some time, even if inflation were to rise above its preferred rate.]  JoeBama is returning us to a “service driven economy”, and that is a problem for inflation.

President Trump’s MAGAnomic (USA First) increased wages and lowered prices (deflation) {Go Deep} but hurt Wall Street.  JoeBama’s globalist policies lower U.S. wages and increase prices (inflation) but increase Wall Street (via multinationals).

Gas prices are going to keep rising because JoeBama is shutting down U.S. energy sources, blocking pipelines and using regulation to stall energy development (including refineries).  We will be back to energy dependence soon.  This process will continue driving up food prices which is really bad for the middle-class.

In the longer term, the impact of wages purchasing less means middle-class housing prices will drop as people struggle to afford mortgages.  However, the Wall Street gains will keep the upper tier real estate market less impacted.  You can see how the wealth gap is directly attributed to policy.

Trump decreased the wealth gap with policies that disproportionately (in a good way) helped the middle-class and blue-collar worker by increasing wages.  JoeBama expands the wealth gap with policies that disproportionately (in a bad way) hurt the middle-class and blue-collar worker by decreasing real wages and increasing prices.  Under JoeBama-nomics the rich get richer and the poor get more poor.

If you know that fuel and food prices are going to increase, you can take action now to plan out your home budget in an effort to offset or cope with the inflation.  Example: buy bulk items that can last longer as ingredients.  You can also save money by making your own laundry detergent, shop sales, cut coupons and be proactive in preparation for a period of large price increases at the supermarket.  Use your freezer and eat out less.

Employment is going to be an issue again.  While the current employment picture is good, it will not last into 2022.  Make a safety net now (somehow) and start thinking about your longer term expenses and how you can take action now in preparation.

I am not a doomsayer… but I can see when supply chains start to fill up because overall demand begins to stall.  We are exactly at that point.


Speaker Nancy Pelosi Invites Joe Biden to Speak to Joint Session of Congress April 28th


Nancy Pelosi has sent Joe Biden an invitation to deliver his delayed State of the Union speech on April 28th. [LINK] Letter below:

Dear Mr. President:

Nearly 100 days ago, when you took the oath of office, you pledged in a spirit of great hope that “Help Is On The Way.” Now, because of your historic and transformative leadership, Help Is Here!

In that spirit, I am writing to invite you to address a Joint Session of Congress on Wednesday, April 28, to share your vision for addressing the challenges and opportunities of this historic moment.

Thank you for considering this invitation to speak to the Congress and the Nation. I look forward to your reply.

NANCY PELOSI

Speaker of the House


Behind the Scenes: WH Vaccine strategy meeting

From the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service.

Behind the Scenes: WH Vaccine strategy meeting
posted by Dianny at Patriot Retort

BREAKING from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service. Faced with vaccine skepticism among Americans, the White House held a strategy meeting in the Oval Office this weekend to discuss options on how to target citizens unwilling to take the COVID vaccine.

Thanks to an anonymous source, the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service obtained a recording of the Oval Office meeting. The transcript follows.

Ron Klain
Okay, people. We need some ideas here. Despite our best
efforts, to get everyone jabbed–

Dr. Fauci
Call it “The Fauci Ouchy.”

Ron Klain
Right. Anyway. There are still a number of people who
are refusing the vaccine.

President Biden
What vaccine?

Ron Klain
The COVID vaccine, Mr. President.

President Biden
Oh! Right! (pause) What’s COVID?

Ron Klain
Anyhow. Does anybody have suggestions on how to
increase participation?

Kamala Harris
It’s those dumb white Trump supporters that are the
problem. Those Q-Anon people.

Jen Psaki
From the South. You know, those people.

Unidentified Staffer
Actually, the percentage of minorities who are refusing to
take the vaccine is about the same–

Ron Klain
Who said that?!

(Pause)

Unidentified Staffer
I did, sir.

Ron Klain
You’re fired. Clear out your desk and get out.
(sounds of someone getting up)
And have the Secret Service escort him out of here.

Jen Psaki
I suggest we run PSAs during programs these people watch.
You know, NASCAR, or maybe “The Deadliest Catch” and
Country Music TV.

President Biden
Hee-Haw!

Ron Klain
What was that, Mr. President?

President Biden
Run them during Hee-Haw! Those people love Hee-Haw!

Jen Psaki
It’s off the air, Mr. President.

Dr. Fauci
I just don’t understand why anyone would be reticent to
take the vaccine. Maybe if I go on more news shows and
promote it? I don’t mind. I’m more than happy to do it.

Unidentified Staffer #2
Maybe we can start telling people that after they’re fully
vaccinated, they can go back to their normal lives.

Several People
NO!

Ron Klain
Who said that?!

Unidentified Staffer #2
I did. Is there a problem?

Dr. Fauci
Are you out of your mind?!

Unidentified Staffer #2
I’m sorry, but it seems to me we’re partially to blame for
people refusing to take the vaccine. I mean, we’re telling
them nothing will change! We’re telling them even with
the vaccine, they have to follow all the same rules as
before. Don’t you think–

Ron Klain
Get out. Now. Pack up your desk. (Pause) Why are you still
here? Get out! You’re fired!

(sounds of someone leaving)

President Biden
What ever happened to Buck Owens? Or Minnie Pearl.
Remember Minnie Pearl? All those pretty girls rolling in
the hay bales. I bet their hair smelled great!

Kamala Harris
Are we done? I have a personal shopper coming by in
fifteen minutes and I have to give her the pictures I cut out
from Vogue and Elle.

Jen Psaki
Wait. Before Vice President Harris leaves, can we real quick
circle back to the border? I’m still getting questions about
why you haven’t visited the border.

Kamala Harris
Better you than me! (Cackling laughter) Now, I gotta go.

President Biden
And Roy Clark. Remember him? Whatever happened to Roy?

Ron Klain
Okay, look, Jen. Forget the border. Nobody cares about the
border, okay? Let’s focus on getting these Trump voters in
line. Okay? I like the idea of running PSAs during NASCAR and
on Country Music TV.

President Biden
And Hee-Haw! Don’t forget Hee-Haw!

Dr. Fauci
And me! Don’t forget letting me go on cable news. It’s a
sacrifice for me, I know. But I am more than happy to step
up and do the work.

President Biden
Tony, you should go on Hee-Haw! Wear jeans, and a flannel
shirt with a matching flannel mask. That would do it!

Ron Klain
We’ve covered enough for now. Look, can someone go make
sure those two idiots have cleared out their desks?

Keep up on all the latest from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service HERE.

The Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service: Wildly Inaccurate, but not CNN InaccurateTM